Pinterest Post: Sadface Edition

Most of the time I love Pinterest. In fact, I love it so much (and, to be fair, have filtered my boards and the people I follow so well) that I actually have a really hard time finding stuff that makes me look like this:

But because that's exactly how I feel right now, having sent my boyfriend on a flight back to Stockholm, I am going to indulge.

GRUMPY CAT MODE, ENGAGE!

To be fair, I also got the idea for this post from a sad-making pin, on a board which I then promptly unfollowed. That's why I can spend so much time on Pinterest with so little rage; I filter out any board the instant a terrible pin appears. Here it is:

"Sweating For The Wedding" tank top from RufflesWithLove

This one chafes me on multiple levels. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but I hate weddings. The cultural mythos of "every little girl dreams about her wedding" never really applied to me, and now that I'm at an age where my peers are starting to tie the knot, my apathy has turned into some kind of allergy. It won't be long now until an ad for David's sends me into hives. It doesn't help that, because I've started taking feminism ~seriously~ and read stuff and pondered stuff, all I can see in wedding photos is a misogynist money-grubbing industry that serves to reinforce an outmoded patriarchal tradition, which in turn gets marketed to women as "the best day of your life," as a distraction from the fact they/we get the shit end of the stick in almost every other regard.

Yeah, I have a lot of feelings about weddings.

Then pair that with The Beauty Myth and our culture of thin-worshiping (because the implied sweating is happening because the owner of the tank, presumably, wants to lose weight) and it just makes me sad. I guess there's a cute-sy ha-ha funny idea in there, but I just don't see it. "Sweating" and "wedding" are (slant) rhymes? Ha-ha?

I don't think I'm going to be a bridesmaid again any time soon; at least the few people I can think of who would ask that of me have the good sense not to get me something like this as a gift. Though you can always get one for yourself, or as a passive-aggressive dig at the bride-to-be, if you want:

That said, RufflesWithLove has other stuff that I would wear if I ever worked out in a public place. It's private yoga, calisthenics, and DDR for me, thanks. I've tried gyms and I just can't feel comfortable.

Judging by the DIY stuff that shows up on Pinterest, everyone has approximately a thousand unused Mason jars cluttering up the place. And also glitter. I'm reminded of a TV show I've never seen, Portlandia. Just replace "bird" with "glitter."

Those mason jars just need a bird and they're all set. 

This next one is a representative of what seems to be the sum total of nearly every other woman's post on Pinterest. It is also the kind I hate the most.

Victoria's Secret Workout: Butt Exercises With Trainer Justin Gelband

TRUST ME LADIES YOU ARE FINE JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. YOUR BUTT NEED NOT RESEMBLE THE ONE ON THE UNDERWEAR MODEL.

And the last one is another representative pin. This is the only kind of pin I see regularly, as it isn't quite as rage-inducing (normally) as the above example so I can never bring myself to unfollow the boards they're pinned on.

The concept of "fake geek girls" deserves a post on its own, but this pin is another one that bugs me for multiple reasons:

1. "I'm better than those 'some girls' because I idolize Doctor Who, not a prince."
2. "OMG I'm such a geek because I love Doctor Who~!!"
3. "I still want to be subservient and secondary to the male genius hero."

To which I say:

1. Good job on being such a ~speshul snoflaek~.
2. Wow, you're a geek because you're a fan of one of the most popular TV dramas of all time?
3. Fuck running with the doctor, why not be the doctor?