My New Band, Volume 1

My day job (or well, one of them) is proofreading science articles. My contract says "editor" and that's what I tell people I do, but really I spend most of my day adding Oxford commas, changing hyphens to en dashes, and making sure the authors use a proper degree symbol instead of a superscript lowercase "O" or something else equally bizarre. I'm not editing for content or style in a really meaningful way, or on the body that decides which papers are accepted or rejected, which is what people usually think of when they hear "editor," so "proofreading" strikes me as a little more accurate.

Anyway, I keep a collection of odd and amusing turns of phrases in a game I call "My New Band." Sometimes I share them on Twitter, other times I send them to my boss, and other times I just keep them to myself. I don't know why I didn't think to share them here until now. It certainly seems like a ~bloggable~ topic. Who knows, maybe I'll even get around to coming up with album titles and art for all of my imaginary new bands!

What I assume is my typical blog demographic.

Here's Volume 1. Confidential to all you aspiring rockstars out there: you're welcome.


1. Behemoth Toxicities

I feel like this would be a metal band. I don't know what kind of metal, because I know there are approximately 98271 different subgenres, but it would be metal.

2. Ultra Junior

As if, thanks to Super Junior, this could be anything other than an Asian boy band.

The three stages of "Sorry, Sorry:" you like, you hate it, you have an inexplicable and frightening love of it.

3. Squat Down Situation

I can't decide if this would be a hip-hop group or a jam band. But it would definitely be one of them.

4. Bright Sunday Dongo

Definitely one of those hippie-esque "world music" bands that I like more than I care to admit. Possibly bluegrass. I think a didgeridoo would definitely be involved.

and finally, the bingo bonus goes to:


5. Heterotic

This is a band that, as it turns out, actually exists. I Google random words and phrases from papers a lot to check for spelling and capitalization, and lo and behold this was the rare time when the first hit was a music video. Reproduced here, for your pleasure (if you're into electro/synth/mellow out stuff):